Marriages In Nigeria: The Need For Counselling

autor: ocean708 | 2020-07-09, 14:58 |

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Marriages in Nigeria are faced with lots of challenges because many go into the institution of marriage without proper counseling or an understanding of what they are getting committed to. Many go into marriages with lots of expectations and when those expectations are not met or achieved it causes problems in the marriage which in most homes can lead to separation (divorce). However, irrespective of whatever challenge one may face in marriage, if communication doesn’t solve it then counseling should be a given a chance. Meeting a counselor for marital issues especially ones that dialogue can’t solve is highly recommended and advisable.
Some Nigerian couples do not see the need to meet a counselor; some see it as inviting a third party to their marriage and because of this mentality they keep having unresolved issues in their marriage which could affect them physically, psychological and even emotionally. Nevertheless, Marriage as a physical as well as a moral union is recognized by society as the basis of a family. It may be a sacrament and in that way an indissoluble union for this life. The roles of husbands and wives must be defined in terms of the essential rights and obligations and the behavioral attributes entailed in them in any particular society.
Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally recognized union between people, called spouses that established rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws.
Marriage is also a personal association between a man and a woman and a biological relationship for mating and reproduction. When two adults decide to come together as man and wife, it means that they have decided to give up their personal rights to grow as one and as a family. They must however understand that no one is perfect and try to be more tolerable with one another.
The Success And Failures In Marriage
The success and failures of marriage is dependent on both couple. No marriage is without it troubles but the way and how it’s been handled is what makes a successful marriage and a bed of roses as seen by all. Some people think of “failure” in marriage means divorce but for others that is not so. There are many people who stay in marriages for decades, living unhappy lives and being miserable in their relationships. I wouldn’t think of this as a “successful” marriage. We might call it a marriage of convenience, a union born of and sustained in fear of living separate and independent lives, or an alliance rooted in and perpetuated by certain patterns of being and relating that are deeply ingrained and that the participants are afraid to challenge much less break. There are lots of issues that constitute a failed marriage aside the popular result of divorce.
A successful marriage is one devoid of fear, inconveniences even though these things cannot be totally absent in marriage. That is why it is advisable to marry someone whom you are compatible with most importantly your friend it will make it easy to deal with issues that may pop up in marriage.
The Need For Counselling
Couples often realize immediately before, during and after the wedding ceremony that marriage isn’t as easy as they thought or characters that they never knew existed or showed while courting. In order to overcome these challenges it requires hard work and commitment of both couple. Many at times after a blissful honeymoon-period, couples often realize that they are not as compatible as they previously thought. Or they encounter problems which they never thought would be an issue. Or the couple is unable to nurture their relationship due to things such as jobs and children consuming all their time. These difficulties are certainly not unusual and seeking the advice of a marriage counselor may go a long way towards strengthening and even saving the marital relationship.
See related undergraduate research articles on counseling
Counseling is needed in marriage because it will help the couples make out time for each other out of their busy schedule. It also helps as the counselor acts as a sort of mediator between the spouses and facilitates healthy and effective communication. It is particularly helpful where couples are set on improving.
Counseling can give the couple tools to start improving their communication, for example by eliminating bad habits such as constantly interrupting the other partner or speaking too much and not giving the other partner a chance to respond and in some cases not talking about issues and allowing it escalate to bigger issues. In addition, where the couple has been reluctant or too busy to face the underlying issues that are causing problems in their marriage, counseling can serve as a platform where these issues can finally be confronted.
Evaluation Of Counselling
Counseling has over time help repair marriages and strengthened the bond between couples. Many failed marriages have become successful by singular act of counseling. It’s an established fact that counseling has helped revived marriages from collapsing.
In conclusion, couples should not neglect the impact of meting marriage counselors for their marital issues and debunk the idea of seeing a counselor as involving a third party who will only escalate issues. Talk to a counselor today and save your marriage.
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